You don’t need “take care of myself” to be just another guilt-inducing item on your checklist.
Hi, I'm Gabriella Feingold. And I know that if you’re here, you have created your life around taking care of other people. You have a lot of responsibilities and when 10 PM rolls around every day (or really screeches past!), you’ve just managed to finish all of the things that needed to get done. You’re rushing around day in and day out and yet…
You somehow feel guilty. You worry you aren’t present enough for your family and friends. You don’t have enough energy to do the kind of quality work you would like to be doing. And when you actually take a minute to yourself, you feel double the guilt for spending time on you.
Not so long ago, I was the same way. In the months surrounding my wedding, I had an especially difficult time taking care of myself. I was making major life changes for the sake of my fiance’s career; I was working at a job that made me miserable; and I was dealing with the emotional toll of my parents divorcing. All I could do was keep it together and survive.
But I decided that “just keeping it together” was too low a bar for each precious day of my life. I knew I had to make a change.
Here’s what I discovered:
Pushing aside your giving nature in order to take care of yourself does not work.
Giving people like you and me are never going to stop giving - it is in our bones! This is something wonderful about you and shouldn’t be dismissed as a hurdle to overcome on the way to self care.
There has to be a way to address your wants and needs while remaining aligned with who you are.
That’s why I created Coaching with Gabriella. To give you support and guidance to:
- Take care of others and yourself without having to sacrifice one for the other
- Dig yourself out from under the weight of everyone's needs and figure out what is actually important to you
- Continue to deeply care for those in your life while freeing yourself from fear of letting them down
- Find a healthier relationship to time
- Release the gnawing guilt that you are never enough
Truthfully, I have always pursued living a full and balanced life.
Even as an adorable and overly conscientious 8-year-old, I would often find myself guiding friends, mentoring peers, and helping people get along (as adorable and overly conscientious 8-year-olds tend to do). At Brandeis University, I created an interdisciplinary course of study for myself in Theatre for Social Change and ran a three-month workshop addressing interpersonal conflict.
Following graduation and a challenging 10 months in Jerusalem, I was ready for life beyond “keeping it together” and began feverishly working on my health, spirituality, and professional life. I continued my pursuit of social change with an 8-month fellowship in social justice and identity, and trained as a facilitator in Theatre of the Oppressed.
During this wonderfully vibrant time, the ah-ha moment that I needed to create Coaching with Gabriella hit me like a ton of bricks (in the form of a very special conversation with my best friend). I committed myself wholeheartedly and became a CTA Certified Life Coach, training with Laurie Cameron (master life coach), Jenny Shih (business coach), and Becca Tracey (business whip-into-shape-r) to make it happen.
That adorable and overly conscientious 8-year-old steered me to this path.
Okay, I’ll be honest, she was actually focused on getting the lead in Pippin or Footloose or the 10 other community theatre productions during our tenure at our local JCC. And then she was really into the Jewish a cappella group at Brandeis (also where she met her future husband, Louis). And these days she really just wants to dance around to Sara Bareilles in the living room or concoct crazy breakfast smoothies. But somewhere along the way, she led me here. And I am so glad that I listened to her.
And I am thrilled that you listened to the voice that brought you here.