3 things you must do to change a habit
There's a lot of advice out there for people trying to change their habits and mindsets.
It can be overwhelming and also misleading. So much of what we see it about trying harder or using your willpower - using guilt and shame tactics that you know I'm not a fan of ;). So I want to distil it down for you to the 3 most important things you need to do when you are trying to make a change so that it actually works and so that you are kind to yourself along the way.
#1 - Figure out why you have the habit in the first place.
One super important aspect of "bad" habits that is rarely mentioned is that you developed that habit for a reason. A good reason! This thought or action has helped you to protect yourself, to comfort yourself, or to numb yourself when you are overwhelmed. It arose out of a need that you had and it has served that purpose. You do get to decide whether it sticks around or not - this is vital - but acknowledging it and how it has helped you is the only way to move to the next step...
#2 - Figure out what you want INSTEAD.
It's very difficult to train ourselves to stop something. It's much easier to train ourselves to DO something. So consider what purpose that action or thought has served and decide what you want to do instead that will fill the gap when that thought or action is gone!
#3 - Take action before you're ready.
It won't be perfect. You won't always get it right. But every time you take action toward what you DO want it will help you to be more positive and empowering. Even if the habit you want to change is a mindset shift - you need to take action. As you will hear me say many times, mindset shifts don't happen by just thinking about them. So what is one imperfect thing you can do right now to replace your old habit with the new one you have chosen?
That's the magic formula: figure out why the habit was formed, decide what you want to do instead, and take imperfect action.
Please keep the community posted on your habit-changing-endeavors by commenting here! You got this.