Posts in Empower with Boundaries
What to do when you let someone down

Last month, i wrote a piece for elephant journal about not being in control.

I want to take that a step deeper in regards to controlling other people.

You probably already know this - you cannot control how other people feel. Not even the people who are closest to you and whose feelings and actions effect you most.

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A practical post on boundaries

It's important to me not to give overly-simplistic advice.

Each of you reading this has your own unique set of circumstances and one-size-fits-all solutions or quick fixes are unlikely to help you make lasting change. Plus it can be really invalidating to be told that your problem is not as complex as you think it is. 

Nevertheless, sometimes you just need a little practical advice to give you somewhere to start.

So let's talk about boundaries.

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How I learned to minimize self-torture

A lot of the pain we go through on a daily basis is self-inflicted.

I don't mean to say that we can just think our way out of our struggles - as you know, I think positive thinking is a flawed model in many ways.

I also don't mean to imply that we are the cause of our own troubles. I know each of us is dealing with nuanced circumstances that affect our ability to feel our best.

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My top 4 requirements for healthy relationships

In coaching we talk a lot about what "serves" you.

Do your beliefs serve you? What would serve you better? It's such a common phrase that it's become a bit of a joke. But I like the meaning behind it. It's asking "what purpose does this serve in your life? And are you okay with that?"

So let's talk about relationships that serve you. I'm talking any kind of relationship - partner, relative, friend, coworker, mentor. What does it mean for a relationship to serve you?

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How to get out of the perfectionism trap

You may have noticed that my logo is a peach. It is inspired by an ingenious quote from the model Dita von Teese. “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” The point of this is not to be bummed about who likes us and who doesn't. The point us that you can do everything right and still someone might not jive with your personality.

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Why trying to make others happy doesn't work

Usually perfectionism is portrayed as an intense desire to do everything to the T, to have every detail be lined up just right. But there’s a little bit more to perfectionism than that which relates directly to taking risks and getting what we need. Perfectionism is closely linked to vulnerability. This is a Brené Brown lesson that has changed my life.

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3 tips for a weekend that's all about you

It's time. You're ready for a weekend that is actually restorative and restful. Rejuvenating. Renewing. All of the "re-" words. But it's not that easy! You have friends, family, community demanding your attention. And your house. And your kitchen. Where exactly do you fit in?

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