The real reason you feel guilty

I'm going to let you in on a little secret.

The reason you feel guilty when you do something for yourself and not for other people is not because you are doing something wrong.

But you are receiving messages from everyone around you that you are! So what's that about?

Even the people who love you the most and want you to take care of yourself will make you feel guilty for doing just that. And they may share logical reasons with you: "You really need to put family first", "It's fine to seek out happiness, but not if it means quitting a stable job!" "You used to be much more organized, I don't want you to lose that..." The comments go on.

But the real reason they are calling you out is something so human that they don't even see it: jealousy.

For a society full of talk of individuality and free choice, most of us feel shockingly stuck. And when the people who feel stuck see someone letting go of the arbitrary rules and creating a life that works for them, it can be a little shocking.

And though they may not know it, they will judge you because they don't have what you have. Especially if you are just getting started at this whole "taking care of yourself" thing. You are changing. And people will notice. And they may not like being faced with someone who has realized more freedom than them.

I don't tell you this because you should turn around and judge them. On the contrary, you should recognize in them the same stuck feeling you felt just a little while ago. And know that it is because of that other person's stuck-ness that you suddenly feel bad for making the choices that are right for you. It's not about you.

With that knowledge, take what they say and do with a grain of salt. Send compassion their way. And keep being you in all of your newly found freedom. 



recommended for you: 3 Ways to Put Yourself First Without Putting Others Second


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