Posts tagged how to
A practical post on boundaries

It's important to me not to give overly-simplistic advice.

Each of you reading this has your own unique set of circumstances and one-size-fits-all solutions or quick fixes are unlikely to help you make lasting change. Plus it can be really invalidating to be told that your problem is not as complex as you think it is. 

Nevertheless, sometimes you just need a little practical advice to give you somewhere to start.

So let's talk about boundaries.

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Why self-care is unhelpful (and what to do instead)

I'm not a big fan of the concept of self-care.

I use the term"self-care" in the description of my services because it is the easiest way to communicate the idea of taking care of yourself and what you need. But I don't really like the way it's developed in popular culture.

Self-care is talked about as something we need to find time to fit in or prioritize more. And while that's all fine and well, it's not enough.

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Your brain is lying to you (and how to stop it)

Our brains are not super honest to us.

They mean well. But a lot of the time they are outright lying.

See, the job of your brain is to make meaning out of the world you see. But a lot of the time, it is trying so hard to make meaning that it makes meaning that isn't there.

Consider when you get negative feedback at work.

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3 things you must do to change a habit

There's a lot of advice out there for people trying to change their habits and mindsets.

It can be overwhelming and also misleading. So much of what we see it about trying harder or using your willpower - using guilt and shame tactics that you know I'm not a fan of ;). So I want to distil it down for you to the 3 most important things you need to do when you are trying to make a change so that it actually works and so that you are kind to yourself along the way.

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My top 4 requirements for healthy relationships

In coaching we talk a lot about what "serves" you.

Do your beliefs serve you? What would serve you better? It's such a common phrase that it's become a bit of a joke. But I like the meaning behind it. It's asking "what purpose does this serve in your life? And are you okay with that?"

So let's talk about relationships that serve you. I'm talking any kind of relationship - partner, relative, friend, coworker, mentor. What does it mean for a relationship to serve you?

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How to stop being hard on yourself

I know the self-hatred that can surface when you feel like you are not getting anywhere.

You're trying to lose weight and it just won't budge. You want to stop procrastinating at work but every time you try it backfires. You've got financial goals that are really important to you but you don't seem able to save what you want to save.

For me, I've been hard on myself about practically everything. (Any other perfectionists out there?) I don't call my family enough. I made a mistake at work. I ate something I didn't really want to eat. I took a sick day from work when I could have gone in. I could go on forever. 

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3 tips for a weekend that's all about you

It's time. You're ready for a weekend that is actually restorative and restful. Rejuvenating. Renewing. All of the "re-" words. But it's not that easy! You have friends, family, community demanding your attention. And your house. And your kitchen. Where exactly do you fit in?

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The truth about your thoughts

I want to share a bit about cognitive distortions. These thinking habits plague all of us! (And I really mean all of us.) And they get in the way of us making changes we want to make in our lives. Learning about distorted thinking drastically affected my own recovery from anxiety and my ability to non-judgmentally question my own thoughts...

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